I think the hardest part of a lot of things and especially mental illness, is the lack of relief. Even when you’re feeling good, it’s awesome but it’s also like, “I’m goodnow…but what about later?”
There’s no real sense of relief. There’s no day off. Whether it’s recovery or just maintaining a sense of balance, you also have the what-if’s taking up space in the back of your mind.
I’m sitting here typing this and I’m an emotional wreck. I’m a wreck because I woke up today and I was stable, which is great but I can never know how long that will last. I could wake up tomorrow and not be able to make it out of bed.
It’s that easy.
I don’t have a guarantee. I like guarantees but I don’t have one and I can’t give you one.
I can tell you to keep going. Keep fighting. You’ll struggle and you’ll go through hell but keep fighting because you deserve the good days. Even when they are rare, hold on to hoping for them.
Remember what it feels like to wake up and love wherever your day goes.
Hold on and take care, dears